The Imminent &$@*!%

Our wonderful boda drivers

We knew this time would come.

We tried to avoid it by referring to it as "bad words," but it always loomed in the back of our minds, on the tip of our tongues.

We're leaving today.

On one hand, seven weeks is a blink of an eye. It's not that long. Then again, so much has happened in these weeks that it feels like a lifetime. It usually takes a lifetime for some of the things that have happened in this short time. It goes without saying that it will be hard to leave; there's so many ties here now. I can safely say what I've heard Hannah say since her last trip here: My heart won't be whole until eternity.

I'm torn. These people, these relationships, make it impossible for your heart to stay intact going back home. It's not fair! ;) I want to tell them that I'm coming back as soon as I can, but only God knows if that is actually in the works, which is the harsh reality.

I'm sooooooo excited to start this new life back home. I just wish that didn't mean leaving here.

We were baptized in the Nile River the Saturday before last, and I dedicated this new life wholeheartedly to serving God however He wanted to use me. You can read about the day here. It was a day filled with emotion and new beginnings. Even before this trip, I felt this year would be based on relationships. I had been waiting until now to start rebuilding with people I've withdrawn from and somehow knew this trip is what would be the kickstart. But now I know I'm ready for it. I'm ready to not hide anymore.

And I know this change that has been established here is not finished. God will continue to cultivate and develop the seeds he's planted in my heart. Please keep me in your prayers as this new journey begins. :)

Thank you all for the prayers while I was sick; I know they were pivotal in the recovery.

I love you all so much and wish you the best of days,
-Sarah-

Wholehearted

When people found out I was coming to Africa this summer, the most frequently asked question was: “What are you going to do there??”

Honestly, I had no idea. I didn't have an agenda or schedule. And the people here don't either.

Uganda isn't about accomplishing anything, feeding kids, rescuing orphans, building houses. It's about establishing relationships, about getting to know people, about loving people. But how do you explain that to people in a society that measures success based on achievements and tangible rewards?

I can already hear the same question when I return.

“What did you do there?”

I already know the answer. I didn't do a single, dang thing. God did all the work in me.

I can't take any of the credit but give it fully and wholeheartedly up to Him.

I'm not held back by anything; I have no ties to my old life. I'm starting fresh, a clean slate. A new beginning.

Not having an agenda doesn't mean we sit around all day staring at our feet. We spend time with people, visiting, relating, sharing life togezza. I honestly cannot get my fill of spending time with the Dove guys and Mama Sera's boys. If all we did was with them, I would be blessed and happy. That time plays a big part of our days here (...not enough!), but we fill our time with other things, too.

That's another thing. You never have to kill time here! Our days are gifts, as cliché as that sounds, and to waste them is missing out on incredible opportunities. Our days are fulfilling, rich, full of growth, encouragement, and conversations.

Honestly, I'm starting to get distracted by thinking about how different life is going to be once we leave here and are forced again into the fast-paced American society. It's going to be different on so many levels because it is a new start. I have a new focus and new priorities. I'm beyond excited to see what God has in store for me!

At the same time I'm praying this is permanent, not just a phase or “high”, and that God will continue to change and use me. I'm praying that I'll be willing to continue saying “yes” to Him every single day for the rest of my life. He has laid a foundation of change in me that I know deep down will last and He will continue to cultivate and develop the change. I'm willing to say He's not finished working on me, willing to admit there's still more I am asking Him to change in me.
I've surrendered to Him.

I have to force myself to not think about being back home now and to enjoy here while it lasts. I know the time is going to fly by and it's nearly impossible to not be apprehensive about the future.

But no, I'm in Uganda now. Right now.

And that's what I need to keep in mind. That's all I need to think about and savor.

I'm okay with not accomplishing anything by American standards while I'm here. I'm doing enough the African way.

 -Sarah-